Debate on love marriage vs arrange marriage


In love marriage, two individuals choose their life partner on their own whereas in arrange marriage partners are chosen by the family. In marriage, two people are bound together. A marriage stands on understanding, commitment, love, and loyalty.
  • Understanding - In love marriage, two people know each other and decided to get married. They know each other's desires, thought process, attitude, behavior, habits, etc. Trust and understanding is more than an arranged marriage. A comfort level is there between the two people. In today's scenario, where people have less time to spend with each other to know each other better. Love marriage is the best option where you know the person and accordingly you take a decision.
    In an arranged marriage, it takes time to develop a level of understanding. If two people are understanding partners then understanding can develop in an arranged marriage as well. Two people can work on their marriage to make it great. In an arranged marriage, people need to spend time with each other to understand each other better. They have to make time for each other during the initial years of their marriage.
  • Choosing your partner - In love marriage, individuals are flexible to choose their partner. One can listen to their mind and heart and take decision independently. Choosing your partner should be the sole right given to every individual. Love marriage has that facility. Individuals in love marriage know their partner from years and have spent relevant time to take this decision.
    In an arranged marriage, you have no right to choose your spouses for life. One has to listen to their family rather than mind or heart. Sometimes individuals are forced emotionally to agree with their parent's choice. One or two meetings are enough to finalize the marriage. Strangers are considered relevant for marriage. Parents are convinced with money and status of the groom's family rather than his qualities as a person.
  • Compatibility - In love marriage, you know the likes and dislikes of your partner. Compatibility between the partners makes a marriage successful. If two partners are compatible with each other, they can lead a happy life. Compatibility is decided by two individuals in love marriage.
    On another side, compatibility is decided by parents in an arranged marriage. Moreover, partners don't know much about each other to have a compatible relation in that short duration of time.
  • Love - Love should be the first priority after marriage. In love marriage, love is the root of their relationship and there is very less interference from family members. There will be an incredible feeling of love. It feels good to be in love. Emotions and feelings are high in love marriage than arranged.
    But in an arranged marriage both the partners have numerous family responsibilities and expectations. They tend to do compromises and efforts for their family. Hence, love becomes the second priority.
  • Expectations - In love marriage, partners are pretty clear about each other's desires and expectations. What your partner expect from you after marriage is clear. All of us have some expectations of our partners. In love marriage, these are clearly defined and partners make efforts for each other.
    In an arranged marriage, people don't expect much after marriage.
  • No communication gap - There is a liberty of expressing your each and every thought with your partner. You need not hide what you feel good and bad about your relation. People in love marriage generally are very open and frank with each other. They fight a lot as compared to partners in arranged marriages. This happens because people in love marriage share their concerns and anger with their partner. Ultimately your fights will strengthen your bond.
    In an arranged marriage, it takes time to open up with each other. They develop their communication slowly. It depends on the two individuals where they take it. But in an arranged marriage, family communications will be very good as compared to loved ones. Your family will support you whenever you need them. Two people have to work hard in an arranged marriage to level up their communication level.
  • Relation blooms easily - Two people know each other from years which helps in blooming their relation easily. Love is the root of the relation in case of love marriages which helps partners establish a happy marriage for each other. If both the partners are having the same level of commitment and love, the relation will be very good.
    In an arranged marriage, it takes time to strengthen your bond and love.
  • No loopholes - In love marriage, relation depends on trust between the partners. They know each and everything about each other's past and accept their partner with a full heart which can't be the case in an arranged marriage. Even there are no financial loopholes in love marriage as individuals know about their partner's family status clearly. There is no need for showoff. But in some cases of love marriage, there will be very big money scams reported. Richer men and women are being fooled by ones carving for their money on the basis of love. They marry them and get divorced later taking their half money. Love is considered as blind in these cases.
    But in an arranged marriage, your families will find your partner. There are fewer chances of money scams. But there will be a lot of financial loopholes in an arranged marriage. Parents see the financial status of the family and try finding a family better than their level. Evils like dowry are considered with arranged marriages. Giving money for marrying your daughter seems clueless to me.
  • Happiness - If your love marriage is a happy marriage then individuals surely are having high happiness index. Happiness index will be very good in the initial years of love marriage. After five years, it depends on the two people where they are. Your family will not be happy as it's a love marriage.
    In an arranged marriage, the family's happiness is more than the two individuals. The two partners are trying to know each other, like each other and love each other.
    "Happiness depends on an individual to feel it. It's a choice."
  • You can be yourself - This is the most significant benefit in love marriage. I arranged marriage people show off to sustain their marriage and do things what are expected of them in marriage without their happiness. Whereas in love marriage, individuals can be themselves in front of their partner. They can share their thoughts, anger, beliefs, behavior, perspectives openly. No space or need to show off a different personality which doesn't belong to you.
    In an arranged marriage, the girl has many expectations after marriage. She needs to behave properly in order not to make family members disappoint. Sometimes she can't express her thoughts, loneliness, fear to anyone. She is expected to smile all day long.
  • Family interference - In love marriage, people choose their partner themselves. Family members will not interfere with their marriage at every step. The couple is free to spend their time. They can decide their couple goals and work on it.
    In an arranged marriage, both sides families will interfere. Parents are considered responsible for any wrong thing happened. So there will be a lot of interference. In case of an arranged marriage, sometimes people sacrifice their individuality and do compromises for the sake of the family. Extended family interference is a barrier to any marriage. It affects marriage badly and people feel irritated and frustrated sometimes.
  • Rejection - In love marriage, people are already in love and like each other. There is no chance of rejection like an arranged marriage. In love marriage, people often go for qualities rather than color and caste. Love and understanding is the basis of the decision of marriage. One person will not see the financial status of another person. They accept their partner with good and bad.
    The process of arranged marriage is dehumanizing. Bride and groom will be selected or rejected on the basis of color, height, and weight. In an arranged marriage, people have the perspective to select a girl and a boy on the basis of color, height, and color rather than qualities. Rejection leaves an individual in a miserable state. People start losing their confidence in this process of marriage.
  • Family support - In love marriage, family support is minimal. Your family members are not there to support and help you after marriage. You are responsible for your marriage. Expectations from parents are less as it's your decision to get married to the person. Moreover, in love marriage, couples are forced to stay away from family. their family is against their relationship. This is the major drawback of love marriage. No one to support if your marriage fails.
    In an arranged marriage, social and family support will be there. Arranged marriages are in a good light in society as well as compared to loved ones. Domestic issues will be solved fastly in arranged marriages as your families will support you constantly. Even if your partner is wrong, both side families are there to support you. If your marriage will not work for some reason, there are plenty of people to support you.
  • Divorce - More chances of divorce are there in love marriage. The two individuals expect to have the same expectations and amount of love even after marriage. They failed to understand each other after marriage. When their love is tied to roles and responsibilities, it fails. They failed to understand and manage their relationships. Their Ego is important than their marriage. Higher chances of being divorced in love marriage. You will not get family support also in case of conflicts. Partners started taking each other for granted. Relation gets worse.
    In an arranged marriage, your families will be there to support you and resolve the conflicts. There are fewer chances of getting a divorce. In an arranged marriage, people fulfill their responsibilities well. Sometimes due to the interference of family members, people tend to stay in an unhappy marriage. Divorce seems unthoughtful to them. They continue their relationship for the sake of "no divorce."
Whether it is love or arranged, it is a commitment which stands on trust, and understanding. It solely depends on two individuals how they manage their relationships. Whether it's arranged or love, give your best to sustain your marriage and respect your partner.

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